Politicking Kittehs

*****The current Malaysian politics scene as told by lolcats. :D (Yesh, I’m stupid)*****

Once upon a time in Kittehland, some kittehs were elected to rule over other kittehs. All kittehs thought its very gud ideas. All kittehs thought its wil shares cheezburgers equally.

But things dun happen like expected. Ruling kittehs got very greedy and keep best cheezburgers and noms to themselves and own family.

Thus, some kittehs were more equal than other kittehs. The special kittehs got really fats and contented.

They think rest of kittehs will always let them take cheezburgers from kittehreserves without questhyuns. Rest of kittehland is unhappy with fat kittehs. Kittehs had demonstrashyuns and angry talks with ruler kittehs, but ruler kittehs only sed “We wil see in elekshyuns! All kittehs can cast their votes and we shal knows who ish the chosen kittehs!!!1″

And so, elekshyuns was set on March 08th in current kittehkalender.

Ruler kittehs were all very konfident wil wins elekshyuns and made arrogant announcements of winning in all media 0wn3d by ruling kitteh government.

Meanwhile, during kittehkampaign, one blogger kitteh showed other kittehs that Oposishyun Kittehs (example: DAP Kitteh from Kat City) not as useless as ruler kittehs made them out to be. Those kittehs know how to engage in power katfights!!1!

Other kittehs felt more inspired and hopefuls for new and better Kittehland.

More and more Ruler Kittehs and family members spreading propaganda saying Oposishyun Kittehs kenot wins elekshyun coz Oposishyun Kittehs has no cheezburgers from kittehfunds and kittehreserves, forgetting that duh cheezburgers are 0wn3d by all kittehs in Kittehland from paying cheezburgers taxes, not the ruling kittehs.

But it doesn’t stop them laughing at Oposishyun Kittehs and their supporters and also the power of the other kittehs’ votes.

Kittehs all wanted to be represented by more oposishyun voice for check and balance so not all cheezburgers are 0wnz by powerful and rich kittehs, making ruler kittehs fatter and fatter.

But during the vote-count, more ruling kittehs and frens getting more worrieds.

So, they asked for recounts and recounts. Even one Fat Kitteh came out with extra 14 ballot boxes after losing to Very Young Opposishyun Kitteh on first count. But after further investigashyuns, Fat Kitteh’s extra boxes were not included because of “technical glitch”.

Most kittehs don’t know why is that, but they guessing could be to save Fat Kitteh from further embrassements.

Before long, KTK Kitteh who lost his seat to New CM Kitteh was so shocked at lost. This kitteh stil recovering from shock when announcing lost to press conference at 11-ish pm after kitteh elekshyuns. So shocked wuz this kitteh also forgot to has Plan B for other cheezburgers.

At around 1:25am of the morning after elekshyuns, EC Kitteh declared simple majority to ruling kittehs.

However, all around Kittehland, word is spreading that ruling kittehs no longer has 2/3rds majority. A new political scene is expected in Kittehland. Citizen Kittehs rejoice!!

PM Kitteh seems unfazed…

Unsurprisingly, Kittehland HQ was sealed off by Police Kitteh to “avoid contaiminations of Kittehland datas”.

But all kittehs secretly know is to keep top secrets of stealing cheezburgers and catnips from other kittehs.

Most perculairr news of the elekshyun was how Hindraf Detainee Kitteh also won a seat whilst in kitteh jail.

Meanwhile in East Kittehland…….

Pekmo Kitteh maintained stronghold in Kat Townland. Giving ruling kitteh party more parliamentary seats and perhaps earning itself a nice Tun-ship + bigger voice in ruling party in Federal Kittehland.

>>News: BN managed to recoup 30 seats from Sarawak and ? in Sabah, maintaining a vast majority in the East.

PUTRAJAYA: Barisan Nasional won three more parliamentary seats, two in Sabah and one in Sarawak, bringing the total number of seats won by the BN in the just concluded general election to 140.

Pas won 23, DAP 28 and Parti Keadilan Rakyat (PKR) 21.

Billy Abit Joo polled 6,590 votes in Hulu Rajang in Sarawak, defeating an Independent candidate George Lagong with a majority of 2,164 votes.

In Sabah, Abdul Rahim Bakri polled 17,634 votes to beat PKR’s Yahya Othman in Kudat with a majority of 9,895 votes.

In Kota Marudu, which saw a four-cornered fight, Datuk Dr Maximus Ongkili obtained 12,028 votes to defeat closest contender Anthony Biri Mandiau from PKR with a 4,198-vote majority.

BN also won two more state seats in Sabah through Abdul Mijul Unaini who won the five-cornered tussle in Banggi with a majority of 2,024 votes, and Anita Baranting who won in Tandek, which also saw a five-cornered fight, with a majority of 5,598 votes.

The voting in three localities in Hulu Rajang had to be postponed to yesterday because a boat carrying the Election Commission officers and ballot papers capsized in Batang Rajang yesterday.

The results for the Sabah seats were only announced yesterday because the helicopters ferrying the ballot papers were stranded to due to bad weather. � Bernama

The Star [ link ]

The next few years will see Pekmo Kitteh preparing plans to run for state elekshyuns in 2011. So, he handed over Kota Samarahan seat which he alw used to contest to Boy Kitteh, fruit of his loins and a very blonde non-kitteh.

To cut a long story short, the saddest kitteh of the day must be Roadworks Minister Kitteh who had held on Chif MIC Kitteh post since 1979. Also known as Birfday Semi-Value Kitteh, celebrating his 71st birfday on Elekshyun Day.

The end.

p/s: I can’t believe I just used up 1hr to do lolcats and 1hr to write it in story form. Hahahaahahahaa. :P

March 10, 2008. HyenaGuffaws. 28 Comments.

Tuna Baits Are Tossed

  1. devil_undercover replied:

    hahahaha…
    OMFG my brains & eyes hurt la!1

    But that was funny:P

    March 10th, 2008 at 11:58:46. Permalink.

  2. Wilson replied:

    jibai… making me laugh non-stop with your lolcats.

    March 10th, 2008 at 11:59:33. Permalink.

  3. copykate replied:

    omg boo freaking funny and interesting!

    the pek mo kitteh looks so scary. LOL

    looks like it took you really long to finish this. wow the effort XD

    well done!

    March 10th, 2008 at 12:00:28. Permalink.

  4. naeboo replied:

    heheh. im on MC today and frikin bored mah. i took 2hrs in total. need to type in kitteh language is the hardest!

    the peektures was lucky coz i was cincai browsing and saw suitable ones. planned to do 3-5 but ended up with 15-16, i think. :P

    March 10th, 2008 at 12:05:42. Permalink.

  5. N!ck replied:

    sorry, didnt read everything =/

    too blur to understand XD maybe belum makan Brunch.. tonite I’ll TRY to read :P

    March 10th, 2008 at 12:13:29. Permalink.

  6. Rachel replied:

    OMG, that’s really hilarious!

    March 10th, 2008 at 13:24:15. Permalink.

  7. naeboo replied:

    0wn3d………..

    http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=6912501533

    March 10th, 2008 at 14:03:21. Permalink.

  8. srly replied:

    Monday March 10, 2008

    Examine losses, says Dr M

    By JANE RITIKOS

    KUALA LUMPUR: Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad said his successor Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi should accept responsibility for Barisan Nasional’s major losses in the general election and resign.

    “Just as in 2004, the huge majority was reportedly 100% due to him as said by the then secretary-general of Umno, now he should also accept 100% responsibility,” Dr Mahathir told a press conference yesterday.

    Describing the coalition’s performance as “shocking”, he said he was saddened by it.

    “I expected Barisan to lose support but not this badly,” he said of the Opposition victory in five states and 10 of the 13 parliamentary seats in the Federal Territories.

    Saddened by defeat: Dr Mahathir giving journalists an overview of Barisan’s performance in the 12th general election during a press conference at his house in Kuala Lumpur.
    He said that while it was up to Umno to decide, one possibility was Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak taking over from Abdullah.

    He said the fact that Indians, Chinese and Malays voted for the Opposition showed that it was not about racial politics but that on the whole, the people sent the same signal.

    Malays and Umno members voted for the Opposition because they were affected by the high inflation, and despite the high economic growth figures announced by the Government and the launch of development corridors, the people did not feel the benefits, he said.

    Asked if Barisan had miscalculated holding the election, he said postponing it by another year would have led to more pent-up frustrations.

    He, however, said the Barisan concept was still relevant.

    On the Opposition’s position, he said there would be instability for some time but if the Opposition was good, it would be able to remedy the situation.

    He said Barisan, with its simple majority, would form a weak government, which would make it difficult for it to run a multiracial country, and this would affect investor confidence.

    On whether Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim contributed to the Opposition’s victory, he said: “There is a strong feeling against Barisan rather than strong feelings for the Opposition.

    “I can’t think he is relevant, in the sense that he is not going to be a prime minister,” he said.

    He said Umno and Barisan Nasional could still remedy the situation if they continued to serve the people well and took note of their signals.

    Gua Musang MP Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah said the results were “not just a blow to Barisan and Umno but to the nation as a whole.”

    “Alongside losing our two-thirds majority in Parliament, we have lost a record number of states to the Opposition, including the home state of the Prime Minister,” he said in a statement.

    “The honesty with which we interpret this result, and the decisiveness with which we act on it, will determine whether we still have a future with the people.

    “We must face it without further denial, self-deception or media spin.”

    March 10th, 2008 at 15:17:58. Permalink.

  9. zu replied:

    Jior~
    you really free.

    2 hours on kittehlanguage and kittehpeektures all for 10 minutes of Kittehlaffs for me.
    I is likey it Kittehtalks tho.

    March 10th, 2008 at 15:18:00. Permalink.

  10. owllow replied:

    I am more sibeh eng to read your blog twice in a day :p … warao~ not easy to match those cats with those stories told eh! respect! … kitten language damn ‘chim’ until cat city citizen hard to understand their own language. ha!

    March 10th, 2008 at 15:49:17. Permalink.

  11. jane replied:

    LOL that’s was so funnny! i love the kitteh story.

    March 10th, 2008 at 20:33:13. Permalink.

  12. David replied:

    Hahaha this is awesome wei! So accurate the pictures LOL.. Go kitteh!!

    March 10th, 2008 at 20:34:38. Permalink.

  13. Raoul replied:

    lol I think u outdid urself this time boo :)

    March 10th, 2008 at 20:45:41. Permalink.

  14. Chee Hoe replied:

    Shit…. its 1.45am and laughingg out loud.
    Next time please put up a disclaimer to warn us on the level of LOL’ness

    March 11th, 2008 at 01:46:04. Permalink.

  15. Shalolkat replied:

    Ah lol’d at teh lolcatz srsly.

    It not hard 2 unnerstan if u alwais lol at lolcat wepsait.

    I cowmend yur lolskillz iirreputesblie. =D

    also, I’z enjoi’d stori of boleh-land uh i min kittehland.

    March 11th, 2008 at 19:17:33. Permalink.

  16. Nic replied:

    ZOMFG!!!! This is effing brilliant!!!

    ur kitteh storiz r fur teh win! xDDDDD

    March 12th, 2008 at 10:02:08. Permalink.

  17. leongsoon replied:

    ZOMFG! So farnee! I lub kittehs! Me small kitteh lub rocketz! Srlys 4 spelling. Kitteh-land n citizen kittehs BOLEH!!!

    March 12th, 2008 at 12:15:11. Permalink.

  18. Pink Leo replied:

    Laugh until bo lat…hahahaha…

    March 12th, 2008 at 13:25:24. Permalink.

  19. Michael Backman replied:

    Malaysian voters open the door for Anwar Ibrahim

    by Michael Backman

    The Age

    March 12, 2008

    MALAYSIA Boleh! (Malaysia Can!) is Malaysia’s national slogan but after last Saturday’s elections, the real slogan should be Malaysians Boleh! for ordinary Malaysians are to be congratulated. The humiliation they handed their government at the federal and state elections demonstrates how politically sophisticated and mature they have become in the face of a high-handed and patronising government.

    Five state governments were won by the opposition and federally, the Government had its worst showing ever. But it was the clinical precision in which voters went about their business that was most impressive.

    Zainuddin Maidin, the information minister, lost his seat. A measure of how complacent the Government had become was its appointment of the inept Zainuddin to the role in the first place. His appalling performance on Al Jazeera television late last year was a very public international humiliation for all Malaysians. Voters did what Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi did not have the guts to do: they removed him from office.

    Malaysia’s media has become so discredited that local bloggers are now hugely popular. Zainuddin had patronisingly warned Malaysians about false information spread by bloggers. They responded by voting one of the most popular bloggers — Jeff Ooi — into parliament.

    The birthday of Samy Vellu, the long-serving public works minister and head of the party that represents Malaysia’s Indian community, coincided with election day but it was Malaysians who got the birthday present. Samy lost his seat.

    No one is more to blame than he for driving Malaysia’s Indians into their pitiful state as second-class citizens. His deputy also lost his seat, as did the head of the party’s youth wing, its vice-president, and the head of its women’s wing. The party barely exists now.

    Meanwhile, a lawyer who championed the rights of Indians and who has been detained without charge since December because of it, won a seat in a state parliament — a seat in which the majority of voters are actually Chinese. It seems that ordinary Malaysians have a greater sense of fair play than their Government.

    The Government lost power in the state of Penang. Lim Guan Eng, the much-respected new chief minister, was arrested and jailed in 1994 after he distributed a brochure complaining about the handling of claims that the (then) chief minister of Malacca, Rahim Thamby Chik, had sexual relations with an under-age girl who happened to be one of Lim’s constituents.

    Unbelievably Thamby Chik was not charged for what amounted to statutory rape but Lim was, for having distributed the pamphlet. How embarrassing for Abdullah that he must now deal with a chief minister that his Government so unfairly jailed.

    Only the state government of Sarawak was spared voters’ ire but only because it had its elections last year. But nature will bring change there too. Its long-serving, outstandingly greedy, cancer-stricken chief minister is soon to learn that a shroud has no pockets.

    More broadly, the very legitimacy of Abdullah’s Government is open to question. At the federal level, the opposition received 47.8% of the vote; a remarkable result given voting fraud, a frightened media that gives the opposition almost no positive coverage, and severely rigged electoral boundaries. As it was, about a third of eligible voters did not vote, meaning that Abdullah’s Government was returned by only four out of 10 eligible voters.

    Late last year, I met with former finance minister and senior ruling party lawmaker Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah at his residence in Kuala Lumpur. He told me how appalled he was by the direction Malaysia had taken. He said that Malaysia needed a free media and a truly independent judiciary. He decried the corruption and nepotism that had beset the leadership of his own party. “But why don’t you stand up in parliament and say these things?” I asked.

    “Because the media would be instructed not to report it,” he said.

    If the opposition parties and their leaders can put their egos aside and think strategically, they have a chance of giving Malaysia what it sorely needs, a stable two-party system.

    Opposition figure Anwar Ibrahim will become eligible for election next month with the expiry of the ban following his criminal conviction.

    The nightmare scenario for Abdullah is that Anwar’s wife, who was again elected on Saturday, will resign in the coming months, forcing a by-election at which Anwar will be elected. He might then help to coalesce the opposition parties into a more unified and effective voice. If he were to lure the Chinese-based MCA and perhaps the Sarawak-based United Traditional Bumiputera Party away from the ruling coalition, then the opposition would have precisely half the members of parliament. And if just one more government member were to walk — Tengku Razaleigh perhaps — then the Government will fall after 50 years in office. The current 13-party ruling coalition would be replaced by a five-party coalition. Whether or not this happens, there will be constant tension from the fact that it might.

    Abdullah has emerged as probably Malaysia’s most pointless prime minister. The election results are an unmitigated disaster for him and his Government. If the opposition is sufficiently disciplined and the ruling coalition starts to crack, then his nightmare has only just begun. Could Abdullah negotiate such a minefield? So far his political talents don’t seem to have stretched beyond using chemical-laden water cannons against his own people. It would seem his days are numbered.

    March 12th, 2008 at 15:03:58. Permalink.

  20. Gloria replied:

    ZOMG so funneh LOL. U is hit the nailz on the headz!

    BN can has enlightenment? =P

    March 12th, 2008 at 15:07:24. Permalink.

  21. elvawenn replied:

    *nuzzles boo and hands katnip out*

    Great job naeboo! Moi has learnt a lot about about Kittehland elektions… thank you also to srly and Michael Backman for additional info. Miao! *all four paws in the air*

    March 12th, 2008 at 16:13:15. Permalink.

  22. · What a day replied:

    [...] other news, I really enjoyed this post (and the subsequent comments). adv_username = “luxferi”; adv_gid = “luxferi_default”; adtype = [...]

    March 12th, 2008 at 16:35:39. Permalink.

  23. ahlost replied:

    Hahaha.. It took me sometimes to understand certain words *LOL*

    Funny :)

    March 12th, 2008 at 16:37:01. Permalink.

  24. Death Note replied:

    it’s awesome!!

    add ths pls
    http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=729570

    srsly

    March 12th, 2008 at 22:50:13. Permalink.

  25. Bunny replied:

    it was so “Kitteh-ish” funny~
    OM”K”G….

    March 13th, 2008 at 00:18:48. Permalink.

  26. Politicking LolCats « Imperfectly Me… replied:

    [...] Posted in Bla Bla Bla by Kuaci Eyes on March 13th, 2008 Politicking LolCats « All [...]

    March 13th, 2008 at 10:06:24. Permalink.

  27. xes replied:

    LOL. I love lolcatz!!!

    March 13th, 2008 at 18:48:37. Permalink.

  28. mcky replied:

    LOL. This kitteh is loving dish kitteh post.

    first time commenting. haha really respect you lah. Tabik tabik*

    March 16th, 2008 at 05:22:34. Permalink.

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