Saturday night. Two girls and a guy, bored as hell. Up all night long. It’s a damn fucking marathon, must’ve changed more positions than it is possible for lazy fuckers on cheap booze.

We started at Setapak for lunch after Melor picked me up. Then we both went shopping/hunting in KLCC and Midvalley. Had coffee and snacks after, then more shopping stints. Then, dinner in this green mamak outside Mv. Fey joined us for the after dinner boozing in Bulldog (old man English pub, not my idea). Her sudden craving for sucking was the beginning of the evil that I now kinda regret and having a bad headache to recover.

I was on my ass most of the time, sharing a suck with Fey. It tasted “interesting” (ie: too light) because the others I had before were of different flavours.

Grape-flavoured sheesha is so-so only. We were royally disappointed, esply Melor coz that night they played trance which is so unsuitable for that ambience. The other times I was at Lecka Lecka, they played really nice jazz or Arabic songs. This weekend is a very trance-filled whack-job. (The asswhack-job descrip may or may not include The Loft @Zouk experience Friday night. Bunga, I’m not sorry that I bit you. Thrice. Hahaaha.)

However, there was this bunch of 5-6 middle-aged couples with their young kids sitting at the next table staring at us the whole time when we were smoking the sheesha. Somehow, I got the feeling that two of the men were ogling at us putting the pipe into each other’s mouths a bit too much. I think it’s because Fey was blowing billows of smoke through her nostrils like a dragon and I was lying around like it was an opium den.

Heh.

Anyways, never again will I take on Fey about the gory shit she likes. She got so disgusting. Melor is no better, gila layan her about it. They went on and on and on while I kept quiet and stared at them like a kid in candy store with a hole in the pocket, wondering what to do with my over-active mind and hands. So, I just sat there and smoked his Winstons.

I got kinda scared that I held Melor’s hand for most of the time after that. Eeeyer… It ain’t his thing too, but he still continued with it and suggested other interesting things to watch.

Waraooo.. I got creeped out alright.

Cilaka those two must have talked about those horror blood & gore films in such detail just to make me churn my fermenting nasi lemak upsides to make contact with the foodcourt’s cement floor.

Warning: Do NOT talk about blood and gore with Fey.

Other yuckycrazystupid, but interesting topics included where to go during new year’s, what to eat around the world, gay kisses and shirts, so on and so forth of the endless talkcock session we had that night.:P

And when I will be opening a fortune-telling kiosk at very cheap rates.

Fey: (to Melor) I can tell by your face that you will fatt tat (sure get rich) one day.

Melor: Oh, yeah?

Fey: I just want 1% of all your money when you are 50. Don’t forget.

naeboo: Babes, I want 10%!!

Fey: Should be enough for you to spend; My 1%, her 10%, your wife 30% and you get the rest…

Melor: I’m not getting married, man. If anything happens, she gets 50.

naeboo: Eddieeeeee… where’s MY half??! Eddieeeeeee??

Melor: (looks at naeboo and thinks she’s an idiot!)

naeboo: HAHAHAHAHAHA… BEE A MAN! DOO DUH LAITT THINK!

Melor: (Cibaiiiii.. ini pompuan..) *click* BEE-lay… hahahaa

naeboo: (Cibaiiiii in jantan…) Eddieeeeeeee…

Fey: *stares at both crazy asses and continues smoking*

naeboo: Lemme see your hand.

Melor: *Surrenders hand*

naeboo: Hmmm… My fortune-telling skills not as power as Fey’s. So, I won’t know when you will fatt tat. But I can tell you when you will fatt hao (get horny)!! HAhAHAaHA..

Melor: That one ALL THE TIME, man…

naeboo: Exactly what I wanted to say. So, Eddie? Where’s my half? Hahaha.. I should offer my fortune-telling services to people at cheap price. TEN BUCKS FORTUNE-TELLING! CHUN OR YOU MONEY BACK.

Melor: That sure will be interesting..

naeboo: It should work. What guy is not horny?!

Melor: True that.

naeboo: Need I say more? Easy money! hehehhe

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Elham Al-Madfai– Fog El Nakhal