Quazar Fizzledizzlepops
Oftentimes, there’s that one oddball or twenty who just love to interrupt my flow of on-going imaginary fuckfests with their inane questions on why do I like to write so damn much.
I always thought it was because I can. And I wanna.
But after a while, you find that you don’t necessarily write from your soul as much as you write from your heart. And heart being so volatile and static and fragile at the same time, it breaks and it bends— to the winds of your mind and the weather of your eyes. It’s nice.
My style may be smoking-pot-kinda weird to the lot of you. Heh. I don’t intend to break conventions and unearth new grounds. They’ve already been broken. I just step on them. And they tremble beneath my feet and make me dance. :P
So, why do I write really?
I have always found a place within writing. It just feels the most natural. It giveth me comfort where I can no longer find solace in the lovehatesexlustalcohol crackpopsicle. When I’m awake, sleeping and in my half-consciousness, words are always popping around in my head, running like cracker jackrabbits, in and out, about. Oddtimes, there were, and still are, moments where I catch myself stopping to think about a certain word or phrase just because it caught one train and took a seat in my head, riding along towards the end of the day with my psychical being.
Also because I like to play god with words. They are the only constants that you can rearrange and mould. They betray only meanings, but not interpretations.
And they are forever mine.
One dear reader even suggested that my biggest lie is “not having a soul” although I am damn sure I pawned it to the devil a long time since. That made me think a bit.
And so, I thunk it out. I find that I had lost soul and lack heart, thus, I now write from my cunt. Afterall, there’s where life begins and ends. Always been, always will. It’s a more physical experience now than it was before.
It’s a given that some of you walking teenage mutant recycled condoms with talking herpes boils gonna think I’m “trying to be crass” here. Who gives a two-inch shit? Being crass is not about saying certain words that are unacceptable in “polite societies”. This is me being plain. Words can be only words.
Yes, I can be a little bit cold. A little distant. But I know throwing all these out in the open is closer to life and reality than what bland “normal polite people” are used to. And I’m not willing to be the pink elephant in this room. Perhaps it is rebellion against accepted social norms and traditions.
Perhaps is perhaps.
Breaking sonic barriers within a language is hardly as hard as breaking the confines of societal expectations. Trying to be human is one thing. Trying to be a woman and balance a delicate equilibrium between what you want from life and what people need from you is yet another.
Anydangways, questioning the judgements of a crazy person is already questionable in itself. So, why do you ask again?
Perhaps, you believe that these mortal words may one day be, immortal.
||Here we are still together
||We are one
||So much time wasted
||Playing games with love
||So many tears I’ve cried
||So much pain inside
||But baby, it ain’t over ’til it’s over
||So many years we’ve tried
||To keep our love alive
||But baby, it ain’t over ’til it’s over
||How many times
||Did we give up
||But we always worked things out
||And all my doubts and fears
||Kept me wondering, yeah
||If I’d always, always be in love
||So many tears I’ve cried
||So much pain inside
||But baby, It ain’t over ’til it’s over
||So many years we’ve tried
||And kept our love alive
||’Cuz baby, it ain’t over ’til it’s over
———-
Lenny Kravitz– It Ain’t Over Til It’s Over
Afterthought: Unlike Caleb who blogs bcoz he “has a mouth, but cannot scream”, taking after his superhero, Hello Kitty ™, I do do so ‘cuz it calms me down and less violent things would happen. ie: It prevents from me reaching out of the screen right now, rip your miniscule nuts and make you wear them like earrings. Because I got hands, but cannot punch. :/
Violence is totally ain’t my thang. :D
Tuna Baits Are Tossed
- melor replied:
hands no need punch one…just need good grip
hehe
August 9th, 2006 at 18:33:03. Permalink.
- fortycalibernap replied:
you go girl.
that windymindmeteoreyes — i like. you’re tracking.
August 9th, 2006 at 22:39:12. Permalink.
- Marina replied:
if hands no grip…use a fork ;)
August 10th, 2006 at 00:48:58. Permalink.
- dead fox replied:
if you had pawned your sould to the devil then you would be rich’n'famous now during your lifetime and fry later. So I think he might have rejected it.
August 10th, 2006 at 01:09:03. Permalink.
- Stupid Gweilo! replied:
Hey naeboo, haven\’t spoken to you in a while although I\’m sure you remember me from many a drink in the R*****. I really like your writing style and your outlook, I think you should read \’The picture of Dorian Gray\’ by Oscar Wilde if you have a chance, I think you could relate to many of the characters..
August 10th, 2006 at 06:20:48. Permalink.
- naeboo replied:
melor>> i got other things that have better grips than in me hands. :P
marina>> me likey forks!! A LOT! hehehee
deadfox>> me being stupid again… of coz i didnt trade it for “fame and fortune” which i shld have seeing that they r much more tangible than what i barterd for.
stupid stupid.
gweilo>> i think i ald have that book somewhere. need to dig it out. so much for relating to characters written by a dead gay guy. heh
thanx. i didnt knw u wld be reading this crap sometimes. :)
btw, my msn got virus, man. i will add u to the new one then. forgot ur email address, but i will try to see if i remember from the anecdote on how you got it in the 1st place :)
we will play catch up when we gotten that sorted out. MWAH! miss those drinking times esply when we got free packs of cigs as well! haha
i still dont like beer tho. they suck.
August 10th, 2006 at 08:55:03. Permalink.
- naeboo replied:
forty>> i thought so that i missed someone out :P
thanx. and i wld like to extend my gratitude to all the tracking devices attached on me as well, esply that GPRS crap. big bro, u r da shat.
August 10th, 2006 at 10:07:12. Permalink.
- devil_undercover replied:
i say write wht u want.
i alwasy like it when ppl write what they feel.. it’s the best kind of read, really.
hehehe. plus u’re super power @ slamming ppl.
like I said, salute! LOL.
August 10th, 2006 at 18:07:32. Permalink.
- tigerkiller replied:
To: the Goddess of likeing to Write….
Where’s my cover?
Hiak hiak….
August 11th, 2006 at 16:25:29. Permalink.
- naeboo replied:
shaddap
monty will bite u!!
August 11th, 2006 at 17:20:34. Permalink.
- Cheryl Marie Cordeiro replied:
I’ve been reading some on your blog. I like your writing style. I think I’m totally hopeless at blogging. My writing is too dry, too academic! *haha!*
Cheryl Marie CordeiroOctober 10th, 2007 at 16:19:06. Permalink.
- Cheryl Marie Cordeiro replied:
p.s. - and I laugh at my own jokes. I’m a confirmed geek :-/
October 10th, 2007 at 16:19:47. Permalink.
- naeboo replied:
wah. u mean “some” as in a year ago punya posts??? in my village, it’s considered mild cyber stalking ald! -_____________-”
haha
thanks for the compliments. i try to write well for myself. ppl liking it is a nice bonus :)
im pretty much a geek too but now more dumb brunette than anythg else actually.
October 10th, 2007 at 17:13:13. Permalink.
- naeboo replied:
i mean currently. like, now. now im a dumbass. but a pretty one if i must say so. :P
October 10th, 2007 at 17:14:10. Permalink.
